Memoirs of a nun

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2009-05-20 23:52:10

Last author: sequeena_rae
Owner: sequeena_rae

# of watchers: 11

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^{Brought to you by [sequeena_rae] and Sister Lisa; [starry_bellend]}

^{There is a moral to every story...Except this one.

Mwahahaha.}

^{This wiki is for Sister Lisa. She has decided to become a nun. Yes, a nun.}

^{Sister Lisa's journey in pictures. Additional words by [sequeena_rae]}

^{Past memoirs are kept here: Memoirs.}

^{New! Memoirs talks!}

^{Memoirs of a nun in words by [starry_bellend]}

^{Entry nine - The mods versus count Dracula!}

^{After enjoying a steak and ale pie in the greyhound, I made my way in the dead of night towards a run down old building in the middle of Transylvania (I am forced to reside here these days after being removed from every other fucking country on the face of the planet!). I was then joined by my good friend Sarah.

Before entering the building I took out the holy blood of Christ and blessed the building by downing the bottle. We then proceeded inside and were greeted by one hell of a fucking shit hole. We thought fuck it God will keep us safe and so we got down to it (sleeping that is).

We had been asleep but 10 minutes when I was roused by a strange voice, which I thought in my drowsy state was calling "I vant to suck your breast" but I was later informed by my companion that it was actually my blood that he wanted. We stood up and stared at the creature. "Right! I've had enough of this fucking shit! Piss off out now before we're forced to beat you down!" With that Sarah was wrestled to the floor by the being and a syringe was stuck in her neck. I was in shock as he drew blood from my friend. He then squirted some into his mouth and the remainder was squirted into the face of an old woman who happened to be passing through the building. He than made his way towards me and I gave him my best "I cant believe you've just egged me" eyes. I could do nothing but use my holy powers to pray to god. I fell to my knees and began chanting "Neef neef neef neef". I was then joined in my chant by Sarah from the floor. We finally realised that this wasn't going to work and I resigned myself to my fate. He lifted up the syringe to my neck when suddenly he bent over and squealed.

It was only then that I realised that Sarah had stuck a light bulb in his japs eye, and that he was now paralysed. Before running for our lives we stood for a minute and laughed until we shat ourselves.

We then ran, to where who knows but I'll tell you one thing, the fucking wind blew off my habit, and I had to make a prick of myself chasing after it down the street. We then decided that we would travel to Paris to see if the virgin Mary really has bleeding eyes, and also to see ZA BOYZ in concert on the 15th.}

^{To be continued...}

^{This wiki is a piss take.

In other words, you get offended, it's bloody tough.}

^{Back to;

[starry_bellend]

[sequeena_rae]

We are the mods!}

2006-10-04 [sequeena_rae]: Bet you-erai that theyerai had U'serai

2006-10-04 [starry_bellend]: lmao i hoperai the bellederais lk omg i neederai paper 2moz i goterai 2 sheetserai lmao

2006-10-04 [sequeena_rae]: You canerai always use-erai my papererai xD

2006-10-04 [starry_bellend]: ok wellerai ive onlyerai got one lessonerai tomorrow so ill borrow some off u for thenerai

2006-10-04 [sequeena_rae]: Oui-erai, tht soundserai very gooderai to me-erai xD

2006-10-04 [starry_bellend]: okeray thankyouerai for your kindnesserai

2006-10-04 [sequeena_rae]: *spankserai* Bwahahahahahaherai xD

2006-10-04 [starry_bellend]: lol ok theres enougherai of this futreais tenserai lmao

2006-10-06 [Stratakus]: ~Blinks~ This is teh confoozion. I am teh confoozed. Laughed my ass off at the doggy leg humping thing though so all is good.

2006-10-06 [Corazie]: When's the next installment?

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: um, dont know yet some time over the weekend :P

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Christ Lis, you're in demand xD

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: lmao im fuckin brain dead today and all lol

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: *silence* The usual then? XD *pets* Aww, poor thing :(

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: lol im afraid the fans will have to wait one more day lol for the new entry im in a very dazed state lmao

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: o.O;

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: so u watched high school musical en lol

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Oh God Lis, I swear it's the shittest thing ever made XD

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: omg ini its been on disney channel bout 10 times this week my sis loves it. its annoyin because you know the song that goes stick to the stuff you know, its been in my fucking head and i bloody hate it lol

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: There's one that really made me cringe, it was somewhere at the beginning lol I was like 'Oh God no, my ears! Someone save my ears!'

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: yeah it might of been that one its fucking embarrasing for the poor bastards like ini lol

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Ini xD I enjoyed one of the songs though, something about soaring lmao

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: oh ye that one was in the charts last week lol

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: ...Seriously?

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: Oh for the love of god! As soon as I heard about that movie I had to purge my mind and put on some real music! Rock on Shikira!... Erm I mean Metalica!

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: o.O; I worry about you monkey boy xD *Lucy voice* 'Ma hips dun lie' xD

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: cough we all have our secrets butt or should i say mate ?? are you american?

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Scottish XD

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: oh do they know the meaning of "butt" ??

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Don't know xD Monkey boy, what's the meaning of butt and not the anatomical part please :P

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: *Shocked* I'm appalled! Me American! LoL not 'Butt' as in not the arse :p

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: is he boobies man ??

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Boobies, monkeys, whatever lmao xD
Butt, do you know the meaning of it? :P

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: Possibly :p

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Then tell us you nit! XD

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: as in the butt of a knife? or a fag?

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: lmao yes im easily confused dont complicate things :P

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Awww *pets* I'll keep it simple xD
Nope, neither of those two :P

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: lol what is he on lol its quite simple really say it in a welsh accent "butt" lmao

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: Pork Shoulder? Or the 'butt' of a joke?

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Butt!
WTF? XD

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: ive never heard that one before, :P the butt of a fucking joke lmao

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: That's hysterical xD

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: yeah sez what you call a male teabag? did you get the butt of my joke lmao

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Lmao! No xD butt of the joke is when you're the joke isn't it? xD

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: oh pmslll !!

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: my bad :P

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: xD Now she gets it lmao

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: You too are mad... So why you asking me the meaning of 'butt'? Oh heres another one, to head 'butt' (Like what Glasweegans or deer do)

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: And the Sandfieldians xD <--- great new word that is xD

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: yeah but last time i said "butt" to someone they were offended lol its the americans they use it for the rectum lol it means friend to us galloises lol

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: xD Well, it doesn't take much for you to offend someone lmao
Par exemple:
"Sez...SEZ! IT'S A GOLLYWOG! MWAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!" *said in the persons face* XD

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: lmao true :P

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: *wears dildo headband* :D

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: we really should make use of them, maybe for children in need?

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: well have a sponsored such the dildo headband competition lol

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: *Looks between the too with a 'what the fuck' face painted on him* Dildos

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: xD We wouldn't be allowed to be shown on tv lmao

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: lmao dont matter we'll do it in college im sure bernie'll be only too pleased to participate lmao

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: Oh a male tea bag! a He Brew! Ha Ha..... I was thinking scrotum :p

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: I am not letting her anywhere near it *ponders* Alison either if we run into her xD

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: ...You're a bloody div boobies man xD

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: lmfaoo ini like ive never heard such stupidity lol scrotum !! :P

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: Hey! I didn't actually pay attention to your housies. I have a semi-sane life :p

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Are you calling us insane? *glare* Hmm, I suppose it's true :P

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: thats no excuse you should be punished lol *changes into sister lisa* :P

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: LoL Now I didn't say it, you did :p

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: referring to what lol

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: *covers arse* nuh uh, nuh bloody uh!

2006-10-07 [starry_bellend]: lmao

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: Now this is wierd. Sequee said you were both insane, I just said I was semi-sane :p

2006-10-07 [Estantia]: I count as sanity reflected in a mirror, still the right shape, but the wrong way round

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: Thats a good way to look at it :p

2006-10-07 [Estantia]: it also means I'm not technically insane, I just look like it.

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: WOOT!

2006-10-07 [Estantia]: yay! I'm sanely insane!

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Squee damnit! *mutiliates* Fucking hell!

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: *Grins* Oh we best get everyone Lithium.

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Lithium even :P

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: Oh in a patronising mood today Squee :p

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Tit for tat I say :P

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: He He too true :P

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: ;) Eeeep, my back hurts :(

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: Ack thats not good... *Looks at mood* Ah HA I've been in your mood :p

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Well you're certainly not going to get anywhere else are you? XP

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: No not really. :p

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: So I should at least let you in somewhere :P I'm in a bit of a sarcastic/patronising mood tonight me thinks. No idea why.

2006-10-07 [Estantia]: don't look at me...

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Okay *doesn't look at*

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: LoL good good :p Glad to here your enjoying yourself :p

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Well aye mun :P

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: Aye mun!! He He class. LoL I'd love to here your accent :p

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Of course you would, my accent is just too awesome :P
If I ever figure out how to upload a move to Elftown, hear it you shall xD

2006-10-07 [Estantia]: upload a move?

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Err, movie.

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: You can upload movies? :P wow

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Oui, I just have to figure out where they are on my computer.
Honestly though, my accent is le shit.

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: LoL Mine is good unless I get ory. I hate it. It sounds so bad :p

2006-10-07 [sequeena_rae]: Mine is just all over the place. It's like Graham Norton on crack.

2006-10-07 [Estantia]: my spanish one's okish...

2006-10-07 [The Blood Angel]: Woot! Go Spanyard!:p Well I'm off. BYE!

2006-10-07 [Estantia]: byebye!

2006-10-09 [starry_bellend]: lmao at the title :P

2006-10-09 [sequeena_rae]: Awesome no? xD

2006-10-09 [starry_bellend]: yeah mun :P

2006-10-09 [sequeena_rae]: *claps* brilliant new entry XD

2006-10-09 [starry_bellend]: lol actually its literally full of shit

2006-10-09 [sequeena_rae]: This is true xD

2006-10-09 [starry_bellend]: lmao omg i cant believe i found a pound on the way home lmao i was landed :D

2006-10-09 [sequeena_rae]: You fucking bitch! You had to shout it up to me didn't you? XD

2006-10-09 [starry_bellend]: lmao well i was quite amazed pretty much had a reaction like i did at the banque earlier

2006-10-09 [sequeena_rae]: Oh fuck off. Why can't I find a pound? That's £11 you've had now! XD

2006-10-09 [starry_bellend]: omg ini lk i should to the lottery this wk i think lmao

2006-10-09 [sequeena_rae]: It comes in threes, and you've had your luck now (I hope) XD

2006-10-09 [starry_bellend]: lmaoooo ini lk imagine how many friends id ave if i won be lottery! the dog would be round yuh lk a shot

2006-10-09 [sequeena_rae]: Not to mention me :P XD

2006-10-09 [starry_bellend]: lmfao!! well id give you money lol

2006-10-09 [The Blood Angel]: Holy mother of GOD! that was some fucked up (And entertaining) shit :p

2006-10-09 [Estantia]: this IS lisa and sarash you;re dealing with :P

2006-10-10 [starry_bellend]: Glad you like it :P, its why im here, .. to entertain lol :P

2006-10-10 [sequeena_rae]: :o You'd give me money? omg that's the sweetest thing anyones said to me ;-; *twats in the mush with a cricket bat* <3
Bwahahaha, fear us >:D

2006-10-10 [starry_bellend]: lol thanks i give you money and get twated lol im not seeing the logic ;P

2006-10-10 [sequeena_rae]: You're rich lmao, friends become enemies XD

2006-10-10 [starry_bellend]: lmao, so im seeing! Well i didnt have another encounter with saber tooth on the way home lol :(

2006-10-10 [sequeena_rae]: Ah bloody bollocks.
I was well shocked when I got in.

2006-10-10 [starry_bellend]: lmao yeah i read you'r diary :P or should i say your novel lmao :P

2006-10-10 [Delladreing]: Pppffft. Honey you wanna see a novel diary length you aint seen nothing till you suffer my diary whoreage XD

2006-10-10 [starry_bellend]: maybe i should check it out when i have a spare few days :P

2006-10-10 [sequeena_rae]: Oh I'm slowly catching you up Dela :P Slowly but surely xD

2006-10-10 [starry_bellend]: OMG!! ive only gone and found the lord himself >[Firesong k'Treva]

2006-10-10 [sequeena_rae]: :o ZOMG! *hails*

2006-10-10 [starry_bellend]: lol oh no my bad god's a black obese midget with ball bags and a pair of tits :(

2006-10-10 [sequeena_rae]: ...Shit.
What about hell?

2006-10-10 [starry_bellend]: well thats where u sit round all day sewing eating spinich and watching re-runs of jerry springer(apparently)

2006-10-10 [sequeena_rae]: Sounds brilliant!

2006-10-10 [starry_bellend]: lmao yeah mun althought id prefer jeremy kyle :P.

2006-10-10 [sequeena_rae]: Neef neef neef! Jeremy Kyle is t3h awesome.

2006-10-10 [starry_bellend]: sorry if i take a while to reply. im doing the hazard perception test k :P

2006-10-10 [sequeena_rae]: o.O; Ooookay xD

2006-10-10 [Estantia]: those things are mean

2006-10-10 [The Blood Angel]: hehe... I passed my provisional... a day before the hazard perception test was brought in :p

2006-10-10 [Corazie]: lucky you xD

2006-10-10 [Estantia]: LOL

2006-10-11 [starry_bellend]: i wonder if god has ever had crabs?

2006-10-11 [sequeena_rae]: God still has crabs :P

2006-10-11 [The Blood Angel]: yep its mankind! :p

2006-10-11 [starry_bellend]: lmao !! good one

2006-10-11 [starry_bellend]: We are the crabsof the lord sar!!

2006-10-11 [sequeena_rae]: :D I feel so honoured!!

2006-10-11 [The Blood Angel]: Unfortunatly we crabs keep shaving Gods bush! :P Soon there won't be enough bush to go around

2006-10-11 [starry_bellend]: lmao im ok i can survive on a branch lol i dont take up much volume :P

2006-10-11 [starry_bellend]: apart from when im deepthroating buns that it :P

2006-10-11 [sequeena_rae]: o.o; Best stop while you're ahead Lis xD

2006-10-11 [The Blood Angel]: *Frowns* deepthroating buns give me gas :p

2006-10-11 [starry_bellend]: lmao it gave me great satisfaction (mmmm icing :P)

2006-10-11 [sequeena_rae]: So you're a regular deep throater then? :o

2006-10-11 [The Blood Angel]: I'll deep throat anything which tastes good... hmmm chocolate

2006-10-11 [starry_bellend]: lmao well yesterday was my first time lol

2006-10-11 [sequeena_rae]: She's a virgin to the ways of deep throating xD

2006-10-11 [starry_bellend]: lmao and i first tried it in a public gardens lmao

2006-10-11 [The Blood Angel]: Aww poor inocent Lisa... Deep throating is a great way to get some tasty treat down your throat. :p

2006-10-11 [starry_bellend]: lmao HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW MY NAME ? ARE YOU STALKKING ME IN THE NIGHT ?? lmao :P

2006-10-11 [sequeena_rae]: o.O; *hides*

2006-10-11 [starry_bellend]: lmao sez whats another strenght of field experiment ? i got that its more realistic what eles is der ;P

2006-10-11 [The Blood Angel]: Anal if yo can't eat any more shove it up your arse for later! :p oh and your name is at the top :p

2006-10-11 [sequeena_rae]: You're a bum lmao

Err...It can be replicated easily? Wait, that's lab I think o.O;

2006-10-11 [starry_bellend]: lmao oh !! :-? thanks sar ! lol

2006-10-11 [starry_bellend]: oh thatll do diolch yn fawr !

2006-10-11 [The Blood Angel]: He HE I've gotten soo confused somewhere! *he he*

2006-10-11 [sequeena_rae]: Not you lmao xD

2006-10-11 [starry_bellend]: Dont worry we just had a little coursework problem but were back on track now :P

2006-10-11 [The Blood Angel]: *Breathes* ok. what we speaking about again? A deepthroating :p

2006-10-11 [starry_bellend]: if you want like :P

2006-10-11 [The Blood Angel]: Its dangerous when done without the proper equipment :D

2006-10-11 [sequeena_rae]: It is? xD

2006-10-11 [starry_bellend]: ok my innocent ears are being contaminated here lmao

2006-10-11 [sequeena_rae]: Innocent? xD

2006-10-11 [The Blood Angel]: Yep if you don't you can poke an eye out or get it stuck up your nose :p Now that would be painful :p

2006-10-11 [starry_bellend]: lol yes i may be innocent but im not stupid enough to try and shove it in my nostril lmao

2006-10-13 [The Blood Angel]: *ponders* We should make an arse kicking Sister Lisa action figure with holy water spray action and bun deepthroating action!! Boo ya!

2006-10-13 [starry_bellend]: lmfao !! good plan

2006-10-13 [sequeena_rae]: Good God o.o; xD

2006-10-13 [Estantia]: the advertising schemes people come up with...

2006-10-13 [The Blood Angel]: yep I'm putting thoughts in her head :p

2006-10-13 [Estantia]: oh dear oh dear...

2006-10-13 [sequeena_rae]: Bwahahaha! X)

2006-10-13 [starry_bellend]: lmao omg this is great :P

2006-10-13 [The Blood Angel]: Like pie :p

2006-10-13 [starry_bellend]: like pie?? Its better than pie, and you still got the pics of me and sarah in a hijab to come yet :P

2006-10-13 [sequeena_rae]: omg yeah! I forgot about those, hang on xD

2006-10-13 [starry_bellend]: oh right lmao ignore the last message then lmao

2006-10-13 [starry_bellend]: aaahhhhhhhhh!! lmfao :O) thats amazing mun!

2006-10-13 [sequeena_rae]: Isn't it brilliant? XD

2006-10-13 [starry_bellend]: yeah you can say that again(but dont:P)

2006-10-13 [sequeena_rae]: Damn, you broke my heart :(

2006-10-13 [starry_bellend]: lmao !! i was waiting for it and knowing the sarcasm between us to lately i had no doubt you come up with it lmao

2006-10-13 [The Blood Angel]: Isn't it brilliant? XD

2006-10-13 [sequeena_rae]: Bitch! XD You know me too well lmao

2006-10-13 [starry_bellend]: are you a parot boobies man? :P

2006-10-13 [The Blood Angel]: Boobies boobies! *Laughs*

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